Wit's end

I'm done, I have no idea what my next move is. Or even what it should be. I've been out of work since 29 February 2008, my severance and unemployment benefits have run out and because I have always worked and paid my taxes the only help I am entitled to is food stamps. No medical no financial assistance from the state, now, if I was irresponsible, never worked, never paid taxes, never used birth control and as a result of this lack of judgment had children I was emotionally and financially unable to support I could get anything I needed.

Don't get me wrong I think children should get all the help they need, we have too many children in this country living below the poverty level; but we are in a situation now where somewhere like me also needs help. I shouldn't have to suffer because the child brides of polygamists in the state of Utah suck up all the available resources. I know the common wisdom now is that illegals are sucking up all the resources we are back to Regan's welfare queen argument, which was a fallacy in the 80's and is still one today, but it's a good sound bite and no one wants to look deeper.

The social safety net was designed for folks like me caught up in times like these and yet there are no options for someone like me. There is not a single job that I have not applied for. I hate not working!

Like many people I get a sense of myself from my job, not working for the past 18 months has made me question not only my abilities but also my sense of worth. I am a hard worker, I am a good employee and yet I can't even get a job at Whole Foods working a cash register or stocking shelves. I don't understand what is going here. I am lost, completely and totally lost. Honestly, I don't know how I manage to get up and keep going everyday except I have no other choice.

I have many friends who are in situations where they are out of work, but they have one advantage I don't, a spouse or partner with a job and while I know things are difficult for them financially, they at least have one income coming in. I'm all I've got and it's scary out there. I'm out of money, options and time; I don't know what my next move is